We are going to IBIZA....NOTTTT

Have a few beers last night (quite a few) and decide to go to Ibiza. Get to the airport carry on drinking then realise I have left my passport in the car. No big deal can get cab to drop it off, friend checks his passport and realises it has expired. Great, trying to think who elses passport we can use but realise nobodies because white people don't all look the same (there is my first controversial remark to get a few people going!!!). Phone a cab to leave the airport and my friend says to me 'I can't fucking believe that'. Lady who looks like a crackhead gets out of a car and walks towards the aiport as my friend says that and she says 'you shouldn't swear in public I work here and your lucky I don't call the police'. WOW what the fuck is this bullshit? It's 2am your outside the terminal with nobody in site but a crackhead and you can't swear? Well I say call the police you crackhead. Next minute cab is there and as we walk towards it some fat prick in a hi vis vest comes walking towards me all fast. I ask if I can help him? He says you are leaving now so it is ok. I say pardon me? He asks for my passport number, of course I will give it to him..... 'You have no authority kid, all you have is a fat belly and a bright top on and a walky talky in your hand probably to check the toilets are clean so sure I will give you my passport number.....it is STICK THAT NOTEBOOK UP YOUR FUCKING ASS YOU MUG'. With that we get in the cab and drive back to sunny London.......

O YEA STILL STEAMING OVER YESTERDAY, TEN FUCKING GRAND ON STUPID DONKEYS WITH MUG JOCKEYS.