When it comes to poker I am like a machine, I can mentally switch off usually and focus on simply winning. I have strong mental reserves and can play 40 hour sessions if required, I can play high stake games or very low stake games. One minute I can focus on a $10,000 game and then the next game play for $32 and still focus regardless of if I won or lost the high staked game prior. However there is something now that makes my game weak at times...read on.....
My ex girlfriend! I have never known anything like it, sure she is absolutely amazing in so many different ways but how can I let her affect me so much! I have several huge losses, well huge for me 10-20k after having argued with her. Now we are not on speaking terms again....until tonight. I have played a little today and am playing well, then I notice on msn she has just signed in online. I start talking and we are getting on fine then every other minute she just rages at me! I am playing some $300 SNG and I am taking my anger out on them...only it costs me money! I am going all in and calling all ins level one with jack high and queen high! During the msn 'conversation' which did not last so long I lose a couple of thousand in no time at all. Then as soon as she goes offline I manage to focus and get some back. Hopefully by the end of the session I can get evens. Time to go into robot mode and crush. How daft what should have been a £2000-3000 profit day I will now be happy to break evens! Sure it would be easier to just ignore my ex girlfriend but I find it impossible to! My mental strength in poker I can't seem to use when it comes to her, is she THAT amazing!?
WOW my luck is down, playing well again have $2000 back and connection goes when a $750 and $500 game starts! I log into my usually reliable neighbours wireless and that is down also! I feel a tilt coming along! Someone logs into my account for me and loses the $750 game to a bad beat, nice.
Well thats it steaming now, even though I have won most of the money back! Going to have to just try and get the ex out of the system, went out with a friend on Friday and he took me to some girls house where it was just us two, four girls and one gay guy then on Saturday we end up in some village somewhere with 9 girls we met at a club in London! Yet I still can't stop thinking of her! So so so so so frustrating, sorry if this post rambles but I am kinda muddled up at the moment! Here are a few songs I have recently downloaded to my ipod which kinda sums things up.... (promise to have some more exciting stories in the new year!)
The three videos are not uploaded properly, I shall have to ask Azimut how to do it tomorrow!
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