winner winner chicken dinner....

How much I hear you ask. FIFTEEN pounds haha. I could sense yesterday wasn't going to be a good day. I went behind early and said if I broke evens I would quit for the day. I managed to go £15 ahead so I just stopped. Naturally I went out and got pissed instead, this is something I really must stop doing as I say and do things I later regret! My solution is a couple of months out in Spain away from every day life in the sun. I know a great place out there near Barcelona and have a few friends living there and it is calming which is ideal for me right now. However I can't go as I have to wait until the end of February for my kitchen to be delivered, then I need to fit it, then I have to have the floor laid...then carpentry work done....before that I need electrics done, painting, bathroom fitted....it just doesn't end. All this time effort and money on a place I still may not even move into! I must be insane, who buys a perfectly liveable place and still manages to spend 40-50k doing it up. What a waste of money, who cares tho I guess it is only money.

I still can't get motivated which is annoying because as soon as I am motivated there is an easy £50,000 a month to be made. Decision between three girls to be made at the moment, all good looking and totally different but I can't make it. Not because it is a difficult choice but because my mind is elsewhere still. Vegas in April will fix me up I am sure, I will just focus for a few days and try and win a big tournament and take it from there. Maybe with a bit of luck the $25,000 WPT final! Fuck that would be nice, win a few million in a tournament then go live somewhere in the carribean for a couple of years. No computer or any phone, simply chill in a wonderful place in the sun for a couple of years. Why do I need a few million to do this? I can just go tomorrow, we only live once and not for so long. Yet most of us are too scared to make big decisions and instead get stuck in a mundane life. We convince ourselves that it is great when it isn't and brainwash ourselves. Within the next few years one way or another I shall live near that wonderful beach for a year +. It is so easy, just win money online and pay off all financial commitments over here then go. Why does anyone want to stay in cold, rainy London when they could go anywhere in the world they chose? It is insanity, maybe I can even get a few grand from the government by leaving London and making room for one more immigrant from a random poor country.

That is that sorted then, I feel as though any day I could just go. Couple of years away people wondering where the guy who takes all their money has gone. Then come back and do it all over again, the thing is if anyone managed to go away for a year or two you know in all reality you probably wouldn't come back. These ties to shitty places and often rubbish people are what makes the human life so random and fascinating. Talking of fascinating one of the only places I have ever been to that did fascinate me is Cuba. It will open up there soon, great beaches and weather and such nice people. My feedback from a few expats suggests within ten years the country will be out of the communism Castro thing. It is hard to buy things out there but I am pretty certain that one million pounds invested there this year would be worth at least ten million ten years from now. I have in my lifetime already seen people make absolutely huge amounts of money in South Africa after apatheid. Cuba would easily surpass these amounts as it doesn't have the crime and disease of Africa.

So after a few random thoughts I could now maybe end up in Cuba chilling on the beach most days having turned a small fortune into a huge fortune. Even the thought of this still doesn't motivate me, so five years from now I am still probably in rainy London just going away 6 times a year or so for some sunshine and then coming back to this shit. How crazy we can all have almost whatever we want except for the one thing we truly want. Then for the few of us who get the one thing we can't have once we have it we don't want it. Then we lose it and realise actually we did. Life is absolutely crazy, I mean if I wanted I could sit on the toilet take my laptop with me and on the outcome of a turn of a card win or lose more than many people make in a year. Or in the case of the third world what they would make in a lifetime.

Life is great, see you in Vegas, or Spain, or Havana....or more than likely in rainy old England.